Tuesday | August 30, 2005

Disclaimer

Any characters in any of my work are fictional or used fictitiously. Resemblance to real people or real events are coincidental and to be taken as such.
Posted by brianwarshaw at 10:49:05 | Permanent Link | Comments (1) |

Perpetrator 2.1

VICTORIA, VA.  Police today are tracking a man wanted on assault charges. Philip L. Ozlin, of Lunenburg County, is the alleged perpetrator against an anonymous victim. According to sources, Mr. Ozlin apparently inflicted damage upon the victim's 20 oz. container of Mountain Dew soda pop. The victim claims that Ozlin began with a string of verbal taunts; when no retaliation ensued, the alleged assailant made things physical, thrusting his "ball sac" with extreme force and "extreme prejudice" against the five-point base of the Dew bottle. Further verbal abuses, followed by two subsequent thrusts to the bottle ended the affair. Witnesses saw Ozlin fleeing the scene, hunched over and looking, as one put it "guiltier than OJ." Local authorities are asking for the community's help in locating Mr. Ozlin before further harm can be done to the county at large.

Posted by brianwarshaw at 10:21:20 | Permanent Link | Comments (1) |